playing about with the children one evening we discovered that in 999 days it would be my 40th birthday! With such a magical number in front of me I decided to make a list of all the dreams and wishes I could fulfil in those days.
Monday, 7 November 2011
Night soul letter to my friend
So here I am again in the dead of night tired and awake and praying hard, tonight, for my babies. The babies who are sleeping soundly, and who as I move from room to room, can hear gently breathing and snoring. I've been to them all, watched them intently, and felt their bodies breathing deeply and soundly.
Tomorrow is the beginning of an adventure for one. A magical trip for a ten year old - a five day long adventure with her school to N Yorkshire with all of her precious best friends, her classmates and her teachers.
We've packed the bags, listed the items and talked about her hopes and dreams for her time away. In the morning she will choose one of my scarves to take away with her - she asked so sweetly to borrow one as they smell so beautifully - of me! How my heart melted.
I will give my child to the trusted hands of her teachers tomorrow morning, to the coach driver who we're assured has many years experience, and to my daughter, herself, that she may make her own decisions wisely and with care.
She will have such an adventure, making memories to last a lifetime. And I long to hear about some of those experiences when she returns. Others, she will keep in the magical private box of her mind. A mixture of these may be the stories she returns to for many years with a smile.
So tomorrow I'll wave my second baby away on her bus, wipe away my tears and know that I am letting my baby chick fly the nest for a short time, prepared with the skills of life that we have shared with her for this moment from the earliest time we held her in our arms and gazed into her eyes. She will be safe and protected and will return to the nest happy and with a new sparkle in her eye.
Our long day tomorrow will continue with a trip to see the wonderful cardiologist who has played a helping hand in my husbands recovery from his stroke five months ago, and hopefully to avoid any further strokes in his future.
During one of many investigations my husband endured after having his stroke, he was found, among other things, to have a hole in his heart, a Patent Foramen Ovale - a PFO. This, the drs almost rejoiced in as a possible cause of his stroke. It was operable and a well-known phenomenon.
He had a surgical procedure done to close his PFO and recovered well.
Tomorrow we return with three of our children to undergo initial tests to see if they have this genetic structural heart defect which could possibly lead to their own health difficulties.
Knowledge is power here for us. We were counseled about the decision to investigate the children's health now, how it may affect their life insurance in future, how further decisions would need to be made if initial ones suggest it. All we know is that if we can do anything to help prevent them from suffering the awfulness of a stroke in their young lives, it must be done.
1 in 4 of the general population may have a PFO. Some of these may have the further structural heart anomalies that my husband has.
Tomorrow, 3 of our 4 children will meet with the consultant again, this time as patients. I pray so hard that all of their scans are clearly a positive result for us, healthy text book hearts.
Our little bird out on her first free-flying adventure will be seen for her investigation at a later date, when she returns.
So tonight as I now kiss my babies a final good-night, I pray that tomorrow will be a great day to remember for us all
Thank you for your support and love, my dearest friend. You really have made my days lighter and my long dark nights shorter